My Intended Result

I remember learning about a psychology experiment at U of M. The subjects were instructed to listen to a comedian with a pen in their mouth. Half of the subjects held the pen with their lips while the other half held the pen with their teeth. The subjects who held the pen with their teeth laughed more. This is because when you hold something with your teeth you are already somewhat smiling, and when you hold something with your lips you are somewhat frowning. Your emotions are somewhat controlled by the way you control your body. This was a life-lesson I will never forget.

Happiness is 100% expectations.

A person who works hard every day because money is his goal can succeed. However, the difficulty in succeeding if your goal is to make money is that your goal changes. If you want to make $100,000 a year and you succeed, it is natural to want more. Then when you make $250,000 a year, you will want more. It takes discipline to be content with the amount you are making if your goal is to make money.

A person whose goal is to be happy can be succcessful persuing that goal. However, it is hard to succeed if you are always looking for the next best thing because your old hobbies that made you happy get boring.

Judaism takes the opposite approach to happiness. I think it's because it knows that happiness is about expectations. That's why we pray the exact same prayer, 3 times a day, 6 days a week, for our whole lives. That's why every day we put on the same tefillin. That's why every week we celebrate Shabbat. That's why every year we celebrate the same holidays. I find that the easiest way to be happy is to be happy with what you have. Instead of always looking for the next best thing, the higher paying job, or whatever it may be, I am learning how to be happy with what I have.

This obviously doesn't mean I do not want or appreciate "the finer things in life." But it does mean that if I don't have them, I will still be happy. I will be happy living in a mansion and I will be happy living in a shack. I will be happy with a BMW and I will be happy with a car that I have to pray makes it to work. I will be happy if I choose to go to social work school in the Fall and I will be happy if I choose to stay in yeshiva. I will be happy with anything and everything Hashem chooses to give me.

The Encarta definition of the word "Successful" is "having the intended result."

I think everyone lives with the same goal in mind; to be successful. Achieving success is a subjective goal. Each person has their own intended result and therefore each person is successful in different ways. A suicide bomber who murders innocent civilians can be just as successful as someone who fights for civil rights.

Just for clarification purposes, to both myself and everyone else, this is my intended result.

First and foremost, to realize that I am not in control of my destiny. God is the Creator of this world and can do with it whatever He pleases. My job in this world is to somehow try to payback everything He gave me and continues to give me. Just a few of the favors God gave me are my soul, the air I breath that keeps me alive, the water and food I need to keep my body functioning, direction, purpose, this world which is too beautiful and complex for me to begin to praise, and my family and all my friends who care about me. Hopefully later in my life I will reach a point where I am doing this for the sole purpose of His praise, but for now I will have to settle with doing it for my own selfish purposes.
Secondly, to come as close to God as I can through learning His Torah and keeping His mitzvos, which include honoring my parents and making sure our family doesn't fall apart, but is instead strengethened.
Third, to build a family that cares about each other second only to God.
Fourth, to make enough money to support my family.
Fifth, to have a means to make the money, preferably a job where I know I will be making enough. However, if I ever have to choose between family and an increase in pay, I will choose my family.

Every person has different goals. It is hard to say whose are better or worse since each person has his own dreams and desires. I am a 22-year-old college graduate who thinks about the actions I take before taking them. I know that I am mature enough to make my own decisions in life. Even though I know that nobody is immune from mistakes and therefore I will be wrong in certain decisions. I am ready to do my best.